191 Scarily Hilarious Halloween Jokes​ for 2025

Halloween jokes are a fun addition to Halloween party ideas. Are you wondering, "What should I call my Halloween party?" A boo-nanza! As you can see, both Halloween jokes for kids and Halloween jokes for adults can be somewhat corny, but they’re funny nonetheless. From short Halloween jokes to dirty Halloween jokes, this list has a joke for all ages.

So put up your DIY Halloween decorations and start planning Halloween party themes. These frightfully funny Halloween jokes will have the fam cackling like banshees, or maybe eye-rolling if teens are involved. And they might even improve your health because, according to Verywell Mind, laughter can reduce physical pain, improve sleep, boost immunity and lower stress — something you may need on the scariest of nights. 

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• Halloween Jokes For Kids
• Short One-liner Halloween Jokes
• Halloween Jokes For Adults
• Dirty Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes For Kids

These Halloween jokes for kids are age-appropriate and a bit corny, but still funny enough to make the little creatures laugh. 

1. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!

2. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!

3. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Ice scream!

4. What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese!

5. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

6. How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo!

7. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
Spook-tacles.

8. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank?
He always wanted to work with his type!

9. What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.

10. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so good at sports?
He had a lot of gourdination!

11. What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The grim sweeper.

12. Why are graveyards noisy?
Because of all the coffin!

13. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!

14. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Boo-berry pie!

15. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

16. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Broommates.

17. Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up!

18. How do you make a witch itch?
Take away her W!

19. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.

20. What kind of monster loves disco?
The boogeyman!

21. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos!

22. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.

23. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans.

24. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

25. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!

26. What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!

27. Why did the zombie go to school?
He wanted to improve his "dead"ucation.

28. What kind of makeup do witches wear?
Mas-scare-a!

29. Why didn’t the vampire have any friends?
Because he was a pain in the neck!

30. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap!

31. What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek!

32. Why was the broom late?
It over-swept!

33. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.

34. What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
The rollerghoster!

35. Why do skeletons hate the rain?
It goes right through them.

36. What kind of key opens a spooky door?
A skeleton key.

37. What do witches ask for at hotels?
Broom service.

38. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
Raisin Brrraaain!

39. What’s Dracula’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa.

40. What's in a ghost's nose?
Boo-gers.

41. Why did the headless horseman go to school?
To get ahead in life.

42. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.

43. What do you call a chubby ghost?
A sheet cake!

44. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare centers.

45. Why was the ghost such a bad liar?
You could see right through him.

46. What’s a mummy’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek!

47. What kind of boat does a vampire travel in?
A blood vessel.

48. What’s a monster’s favorite snack?
Ghoul scout cookies.

49. Why did the spider join Instagram?
To improve his web presence.

50. What do you call a vampire who lives in the kitchen?
Count Spatula!

Short One-liner Halloween Jokes

Need short Halloween jokes? These one-liner Halloween jokes don’t waste any time getting to the punchline. 

51. What do you call a lazy skeleton?
The hardly-working dead.

52. Why did the ghost get in trouble at school?
He was caught boo-llying.

53. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

54. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because biting necks was a pain in the neck.

55. What’s Frankenstein’s favorite drink?
Monster-ade.

56. What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.

57. Why was the cemetery so popular?
People were dying to get in.

58. What does a ghost put on his toast?
Boo-ter.

59. What’s a vampire’s least favorite room?
The sunroom.

60. What do you call a zombie who loves sketching?
A drool-deler.

61. Why did the skeleton argue with his friend?
He had a bone to pick.

62. What’s a ghost’s favorite street?
Dead End.

63. Why don’t mummies go swimming?
They don’t like to unwrap in public.

64. What’s a ghoul’s favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.

65. What do witches drive?
Stick shifts.

66. Why don’t monsters eat clowns?
They taste funny.

67. What’s Dracula’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving.

68. How do mummies text?
With cryptic messages.

69. Why do ghosts always win arguments?
They have spirited opinions.

70. What’s a werewolf’s favorite exercise?
Howling at the gym.

71. What do you call a monster who loves math?
Countula.

72. What did the skeleton say after a meal?
“That hit the spot... my ribcage.”

73. Why do witches never stay friends?
They always have falling outs.

74. Where do ghosts shop?
At the bootique.

75. What do zombies eat for breakfast?
Screambled eggs.

76. What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.

77. Why did the vampire flunk art class?
He could only draw blood.

78. What’s a monster’s favorite bedtime story?
Little Dead Riding Hood.

79. What’s a witch's favorite shape?
A hex-agon.

80. Why don’t mummies make good boyfriends?
Too clingy.

81. What do you call a witch who’s good at baseball?
A bat lady.

82. What’s Dracula’s favorite coffee order?
A de-coffin-ated brew.

83. Why did the ghost quit stand-up?
His jokes were too transparent.

84. How do you scare a snowman on Halloween?
Show him a hairdryer.

85. Why did the vampire join the orchestra?
He loved the baton.

86. Where do witches get their nails done?
The scare salon.

87. I tried to ask a zombie for directions, but he just gave me dead silence.

88. What do skeletons serve at a barbecue?
Spare ribs.

89. What’s a zombie’s favorite bean?
A human bean.

90. What’s Frankenstein’s favorite sport?
Badminton — he’s great with shuttleshocks.

91. What kind of fish do ghosts catch?
Ghoulfish.

92. Why do vampires always look so calm?
They don’t sweat the small stuff — or anything.

93. What’s a werewolf’s favorite day of the week?
Moonday.

94. Why was the witch feeling down?
She was going through a bad spell.

95. Where do monsters buy cookies?
From the Ghoul Scouts.

96. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-nanas.

97. What do you call a vampire’s dog?
A bite-sized terrier.

98. Why do skeletons stay so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.

99. What do witches use in their hair?
Scare-spray.

100. What do zombies wear to bed?
Deadtime pajamas.

Halloween Jokes For Adults

Note: From here on, the jokes are meant for a mature audience. 

If you need Halloween jokes for adults that are appropriate for a work setting (our NSFW Halloween jokes come later), look no further. These Halloween jokes contain mature themes, but they remain within the realm of clean Halloween humor.

101. Why don't vampires use dating apps?
Too many catfish and not enough necks.

102. I asked a witch for a love potion — now my ex won’t stop texting me.

103. What’s Frankenstein’s biggest fear?
Commitment.

104. Why don’t skeletons use social media?
They don’t like getting tagged.

105. Why did the ghost delete Tinder?
Everyone just ghosted him.

106. What’s a mummy’s favorite pickup line?
"Wanna get wrapped up in something tonight?"

107. What did the witch say after one too many cocktails?
“I’m totally hexed.”

108. Dracula went to therapy — but he couldn’t reflect on his issues.

109. Why did the ghoul get fired?
Too many spirit breaks.

110. What's the real horror of Halloween parties?
Running into your boss dressed as a sexy nurse.

111. What’s a vampire’s idea of foreplay?
A good neck rub.

112. Why don’t zombies like office jobs?
They can’t deal with the deadlines.

113. What's a ghost’s favorite pickup line?
“Is it just me, or do you feel something between us?”

114. I asked a witch for a spell to spice up my life. Now I have a chili addiction.

115. What do you call a vampire with an Excel fetish?
Count Spreadsheetula.

116. Why do werewolves make terrible boyfriends?
They’re only loyal once a month.

117. What did the mummy say after a bad date?
“At least she didn’t unravel me completely.”

118. Why did the haunted house get shut down?
Too much paranormal activity.

119. What’s Frankenstein’s biggest red flag?
Lives with his creator.

120. How do you know your date’s a ghost?
You pay for dinner, and they vanish.

121. What’s a witch’s favorite drink?
Anything brewed… especially gossip.

122. Why don’t ghouls use GPS?
They like to go wherever the spirit moves them.

123. What’s Dracula's favorite thing to do on the weekend?
Neckflix and chill.

124. Why did the sexy vampire fail the interview?
His references were all dead.

125. What happens at a vampire's bachelor party?
Everyone gets a little batty.

126. What’s the scariest costume at the adult Halloween party?
Your ex with a wedding ring.

127. What kind of photos do witches put on Tinder?
Only glamour shots.

128. What did the werewolf say after a full moon hangover?
“Never again… until next month.”

129. How do you survive a ghost roommate?
Learn to share the boo-doir.

130. Why do vampires love office jobs?
There's a lot of steak-holder engagement.

131. Why was the zombie a great motivational speaker?
He really knew how to flesh out a point.

132. What advice do skeletons give after a break-up?
There's plenty of femurs in the graveyard.

133. Why don’t haunted houses serve wine?
Too many spirits already.

134. What did Dracula say after a rough date?
“That sucked.”

135. How do witches keep it spicy in relationships?
Cauldron-side communication.

136. Why can't you have a Halloween party with way too many witches?
Because if you do, then you won't know which witch is which

137. What’s the best Halloween party theme for adults?
Booze, Boos, and Bad Decisions.

138. Why don’t werewolves go to therapy?
They’re afraid of shedding too much.

139. What did the ghost say on its tax return?
“I don’t exist.”

140. What’s a vampire’s least favorite morning show?
The Sunrise.

141. Why don’t vampires have many friends?
They find people a little draining.

142. What’s a zombie’s favorite workout?
Deadlifts.

143. What’s the scariest thing about adult Halloween?
Costumes that cost more than rent.

144. What did the ghost say at the wine tasting?
“I prefer full-bodied.”

145. Why did the vampire refuse the promotion?
He couldn’t work day shifts.

146. Why do witches make terrible bankers?
They’re always cooking the books.

147. Why don’t ghosts tell lies?
Because you can see right through them.

148. What’s do skeleton’s get at the end of the working month?
Bone-us checks.

149. What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A poultry-geist.

150. Why don’t monsters use LinkedIn?
They prefer creeping in person.

Dirty Halloween Jokes

These dirty Halloween jokes are Halloween jokes for adults, just spicy enough without being overly explicit. 

151. Why did the vampire get dumped?
He was too into necking.

152. What do you call it when two witches' husbands have a bond?
A real broomance.

153. Why don’t witches wear panties?
So they can get a better grip on their brooms!

154. How do skeletons flirt?
They show a little hip.

155. Why do zombies make terrible kissers?
Too much tongue.

156. Why is it boring getting intimate with a werewolf?
They always do it doggy-style.

157. What’s a monster’s favorite dating app?
BOOmble.

158. What happens when you date Frankenstein?
Sparks fly.

159. What do skeletons bring to the bedroom?
A whole lot of bone.

160. What’s a vampire’s idea of a hot night?
Dinner, wine, and a little neck work.

161. Why do mummies need to drink before getting intimate?
They need to unwind first.

162. Why did the human break up with the zombie?
Too much dead weight in the relationship.

163. Why did the ghost start pole dancing?
To show off his boo-ty.

164. What do you call a flirty witch?
Hexy.

165. What’s a witch’s favorite type of guy?
One with a big… spell book.

166. Why did the witch swipe right?
The warlock has big wand energy.

167. What do zombies like in a partner?
Good taste… literally.

168. What did Dr. Frankenstein say in bed?
“It’s alive… and growing!”

169. How can you tell the skeleton is exctied?
He gets a booner.

170. Why are vampires so great for one-night stands?
They always leave before sunrise.

171. What did the ghost say when sexting?
Send boods.

172. Why do Halloween lovers never get bored?
Every night’s a different kind of freak show.

173. Why did the ghost bring lube to the séance?
He wanted the spirits to slide in smoothly.

174. Why did the witch divorce the warlock?
Because he had a hollow weenie.

175. I'd bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

176. What kind of bees like Halloween?
Boo bees

177. Why did the ghost dad wear a dress?
He was a trans-parent.

178. There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house, leaving severed appendages on the doorstep. He gives me the willies.

179. What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump-kin

180. What do condoms and coffins have in common?
They're both full of stiffs.

181. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts.

182. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A romin’ Catholic.

183. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

184. What's a vampire's favorite drink?
Bloodwieser

185. A Skeleton walked into a bar and ordered a beer and a mop. 

186. What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs!

187. What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts?
Pharaoh Rocher.

188. Why do they put a fence around the Cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.

189. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker face

190. Why don’t monsters like to eat ghosts?
They taste like sheet!

191. What do you call a poop on Halloween?
A spooky dookie

Make spooky season more fun with these Halloween jokes. Whether you need one-liner Halloween jokes or Halloween jokes for kids, now you have plenty of Halloween jokes to guarantee laughs all around. 

Add a fun twist to Halloween craft ideas by telling Halloween jokes while you work, or use Halloween jokes to keep the kids entertained during trick-or-treating. No matter the occasion, Halloween jokes are a spooktacular way to celebrate the holiday.

For even more fun Halloween ideas, check out other experiences happening on Classpop!