151 Funny Clean Jokes for Any Audience in 2025
If you think that clean jokes can’t be funny, think again! In fact, they can even make you healthier — according to Help Guide, the benefits of laughter include reduced stress, better immunity and more. Whether you need jokes for kids or a joke of the day for work that won’t get you in trouble with HR, these are the best clean jokes for all occasions.
You can use these clean humor jokes as ice breaker questions when you’re trying something new, such as a new sport, cooking class or creative hobby. They’re an easy way to cut through the awkwardness of meeting people for the first time. They also make great Thanksgiving jokes for big laughs around the table. From clean dad jokes to knock knock jokes, these clean humor jokes are sure to brighten anyone’s day.
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- Clean Jokes for Adults
- Funny Clean Jokes
- Clean Humor Jokes
- Hilarious Clean Jokes
- Best Clean Jokes
- Clean Dad Jokes
- Corny Clean Jokes
Clean Jokes for Adults
These clean jokes for adults prove that jokes don’t have to be NSFW to be funny. Here are some of the best clean jokes for any occasion. They're guaranteed to elicit laughter at work, at home or even at a party.
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? Because they make up everything.
2. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
3. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
4. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field.
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
8. I’m great at multitasking — I can procrastinate and panic at the same time.
9. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you…”
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
11. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
12. I once got fired from a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
13. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
14. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
16. Why did the bicycle collapse? It was two-tired.
17. What do dentists call their X-rays? Tooth pics!
18. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
19. I used to play piano by ear…But now I use my hands.
20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
Funny Clean Jokes
It’s easy to assume funny clean jokes don’t exist, but that's far from the truth. These jokes prove that you don’t always have to send your mind into the gutter to get a reaction. Hilarious, clean jokes provide the kind of nostalgic, feel-good humor that never fails to make people laugh.
21. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
22. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crumby.
23. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
24. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
25. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!”
26. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because they’re too transparent.
27. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
28. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
29. What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunderwear!
30. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
31. Why did the chicken sit down at the séance? To talk to the other side.
32. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Lunch is on me.”
33. Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert? To reach the high notes.
34. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
35. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
36. What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look! I’m changing.”
37. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
38. Why did the cow go to outer space? To visit the moooon.
39. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
40. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
Clean Humor Jokes
Clean humor jokes can definitely be corny, but they don’t have to be boring. Whether you need clean jokes for adults or generic funny clean jokes to impress a crowd, these good clean jokes never get old. All ages get a kick out of clean jokes, so tell them at the office, around the dinner table or anywhere else the mood strikes.
41. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
42. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
43. Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad away.
44. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
45. Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill? It ran out of juice.
46. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
47. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
48. What’s fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.
49. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
50. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
51. What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A moo-sician.
52. Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded it.
53. What did one volcano say to the other? “I lava you.”
54. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
55. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
56. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
57. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
58. What do you call a bear stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear.
59. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
60. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
61. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
62. Why did the barber win the race? He knew all the shortcuts.
63. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
64. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
65. How does a vampire start a letter? "Tomb it may concern…”
66. I used to be a baker…But I couldn’t make enough dough.
67. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
68. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
69. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
70. Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she was great at making pi.
Hilarious Clean Jokes
Believe it or not, hilarious clean jokes are some of the best jokes out there. These great clean jokes are perfect for all ages and settings, and you never have to worry about accidentally offending someone or making them uncomfortable. Good clean jokes are a win-win!
71. Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
72. I told my suitcase there would be no vacations this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
73. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
74. I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
75. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
76. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here — I’ll go on ahead.”
77. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
78. How do you measure a snake? In inches — they don’t have feet.
79. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
80. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
81. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
82. What did one elevator say to the other? “I think I’m coming down with something.”
83. Why don’t koalas count as bears? They don’t have the koalafications.
84. Why did the robot break up with his girlfriend? She had too many bytes.
85. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
86. Why did the banana go to the party? Because it was a-peeling.
87. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between us, something smells.”
88. What does a house wear? Address!
89. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
90. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
91. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
92. Why did the musician get locked out of his house? He left his keys on the piano.
Best Clean Jokes
The best clean jokes aren’t stale or predictable. They’re legitimately funny, putting fresh spins on classic humor to put a smile on anyone’s face. Tell clean jokes anytime, anywhere for big laughs all around.
93. Why did the fisherman bring a pencil to work? In case he had to draw his net.
94. What do you call a sleeping bag that tells jokes? A pun-cho.
95. Why did the grape never get promoted? It whined too much.
96. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey.
97. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
98. What kind of shoes does a banana wear? Slippers.
99. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
100. How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill.
101. What’s a robot’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
102. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barberqueue.
103. Why are toilets always so good at poker? They always get a flush.
104. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
105. Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It was losing touch.
106. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
107. What did the fisherman say to the magician? “Pick a cod, any cod.”
108. What kind of bird works at a construction site? A crane.
109. Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because it didn’t want to be a hot dog.
110. What did the rug say to the floor? “I’ve got you covered.”
111. Why did the egg get sent to the principal’s office? For cracking too many jokes.
112. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
113. Why did the man put his clock in the blender? He wanted to make time fly.
114. What kind of stories do the ocean waves tell? Current events.
115. Why did the napkin start acting up? It had a bad fold in its attitude.
Clean Dad Jokes
When you need a good laugh, clean dad jokes never disappoint. They’re clichéd, without a doubt, but that’s the whole point. You may groan a bit at first when you hear these corny clean jokes, but they’ll at least get a chuckle out of you.
116. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…But then I turned myself around.
117. Why did the gardener quit his job? His celery wasn’t high enough.
118. What did the janitor say when he finished writing his autobiography? “That’s a clean sweep.”
119. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward.
120. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know which comes first.
121. Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
122. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
123. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A l-abracadabra-dor.
124. Why did the coffee taste like mud? It was ground just minutes ago.
125. I just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
126. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
127. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
128. You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
129. I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. But if anything, it made him more sluggish.
130. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
131. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
132. I told my son I wanted to be cremated. He made an appointment for Tuesday.
133. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
134. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
135. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
Corny Clean Jokes
Believe it or not, corny clean jokes can still be funny. These clean jokes might leave you cringing a bit inside, but they’re wholesome, classic and great for all ages. Keep them in your back pocket to pull out when someone in your life needs a good laugh.
136. Why did the man run around his bed? He wanted to catch up on his sleep.
137. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing — it just waved.
138. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
139. What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop.
140. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles.
141. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing and blushed.
142. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
143. Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It kept tocking too loud.
144. I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of watches. She said it’d be a waist of time.
145. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
146. What did the paper say to the pencil? “You’ve got a good point.”
147. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
148. Why was the broom late to work? It overswept.
149. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
150. Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
151. What’s the best day to go to the beach? Sun-day, of course!
Whether you prefer cat jokes or Chuck Norris jokes, there’s no limit to the topics for clean jokes. Now that you have plenty of great clean jokes to tell at work, at home or at a party, you’ll bring smiles to people’s faces wherever you go.
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