113 Cow Jokes That Will Moove You to Laughter in 2025
If you’re looking for udderly hilarious cow jokes, it would behoove you to check out this list. We’ve covered everything from cow jokes for kids to funny cow jokes that land well with all ages. These jokes about cows will leave everyone a-moo-sed.
When is the best time to tell jokes with cows, you ask? Whether you need a joke of the day for work, Thanksgiving jokes or ice breaker questions to lighten the mood for team building activities, cow jokes are always a good idea. And they may even make you healthier because, according to UnityPoint Health, laughter offers many benefits, such as decreased stress levels and even better heart health.
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- Funny Jokes With Cows
- Hilarious Jokes About Cows
- Funny Cow Jokes
- Cow Jokes For Kids
- Cow Jokes for Adults
- Cow Jokes FAQs
Funny Jokes With Cows
If you don’t think cow jokes can be funny, think again. Sure, these funny jokes with cows are corny, but that’s the best part! Lighthearted, silly humor is good for the soul and it’s nice to have a good, wholesome laugh now and then.
1. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
2. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
3. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
4. Why was the cow such a great musician? Because she had perfect moo-sical pitch!
5. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
6. Where do cows go on vacation? Moo York City.
7. What do you get when you cross a cow and a trampoline? A milkshake!
8. What do cows wear while hunting? Cow-mouflage.
9. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
10. What did the cow say to her therapist? “I feel udderly useless.”
11. Why did the cow get promoted? Because she was outstanding in her field!
12. What do you call a cow that plays the piano? A moo-sician.
13. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
14. What game do cows like to play at parties? Truth or dairy.
15. What do you call a cow that can’t stop telling jokes? Laugh-a-bull!
16. Why are cows such great drivers? They’re good at steer-ing.
17. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
18. What’s a cow’s favorite movie? Moo-lan.
19. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
20. What’s a cow’s favorite subject in school? Cow-culus.
21. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry!
Hilarious Jokes About Cows
These hilarious cow jokes are sure to brighten everyone’s day. They’re clever, family-friendly, all-purpose cow jokes for any occasion. You’ll come back to these cow jokes time and time again because they never get old.
22. What do cows use to do math? A cow-culator.
23. What kind of show do cows love to watch? Graze Anatomy.
24. What do you call a cow that can sing opera? Moosic to your ears.
25. Why did the cow join the band? Because it had the best cow-bells in town.
26. Why was the baby cow always so spoiled? Because her mom was udderly devoted.
27. What do cows say when something’s unbelievable? “That’s legen-dairy!”
28. What kind of books do cows like? Moo-steries.
29. What did the fancy cow order at the restaurant? Filet mignon with a side of moo-stard.
30. Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!
31. What did the cow tell the butcher? “Stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.”
32. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonald’s.
33. What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!
34. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
35. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
36. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
37. What would you call a cow wearing armor? Sir Loin.
38. What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard.
39. What do you call a bull in church? A holy cow.
40. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering them.
41. What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destroyed.
42. What do cows put on French toast? Moo-lasses.
43. How does Lady Gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
44. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”
Funny Cow Jokes
You’ll want to tell these funny cow jokes until the cows come home. They’re just cheesy enough without moving into full dad jokes territory. Both kids and adults love them, so there'll be laughter all around.
45. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.
46. How do you know if a cow is strong? They’ll have big moo-scles.
47. What do you call a spontaneous cow? Imprompt-moo.
48. What do cows say when they meet new friends? “Nice to meat you!”
49. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers!
50. What do cows like to do on date night? Go to the drive-in moo-vie.
51. What did the cow say after watching a scary movie? “I’m feeling a little cow-ardly.”
52. Where do you buy a cow in Scotland? Glas-cow.
53. Why don’t cows ever get lost? They always follow the herd.
54. Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
55. What is a cow's favorite cocktail? A moo-jito!
56. What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
57. Why do cows make such bad band members? They only play bells.
58. Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
59. Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow.
60. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
61. What song do cows love to sing? “I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.”
62. What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet? The steaks have never been higher.
63. What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
64. How do cows introduce their wives? Hey guys! Meat Patty.
65. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down!
66. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
Cow Jokes For Kids
These cow jokes for kids are funny enough to make adults laugh. Kids will want to share these cow jokes with everyone at school because they’re just plain hilarious. All of their friends and teachers will be impressed!
67. What do cows like to read before bed? Dairy tales!
68. What do you name a fat cow? Big Mac.
69. How can you tell if a cow is a teenager? They’re very moo-dy.
70. Why are calves so good at math? They like cow-nting.
71. What do you call a cow that does magic? Moo-dini.
72. Why are male cows so mean? Because they’re bull-ies.
73. What kind of milk do baby cows drink? Their mooo-ther’s milk!
74. What do cows say when they greet each other? “Hay there!”
75. What kind of music do cows love? Any song with good mooo-sic!
76. What did the baby cow say to his mom? “I love moo!”
77. What’s a cow’s favorite game? Moo-sical chairs!
78. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.
79. Where do cows get their medicine? At the farm-acy.
80. Where do young cows eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
81. What did one cow ask its friend? “Got milk?”
82. What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool? “Cow-abunga!”
83. Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
84. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? “Try something more cow-sual.”
85. Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry.
86. Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed!
87. How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty.
88. Why did the cow travel into space? To visit the Milky Way.
Cow Jokes for Adults
Cow jokes for adults are a bit wittier and more refined than cow jokes for kids, but they still carry the same timeless humor. Tell these cow jokes to your friends, coworkers or significant other for guaranteed laughs. You never outgrow classic puns like cow jokes.
89. What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
90. What is the best way to get a cow to be quiet? Just press the moo-te button.
91. When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.
92. What did the cow say when someone told her a lie? Sounds like bull to me.
93. What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
94. When is milk the freshest? When it’s still in the cow!
95. How do cows like their coffee? Calf-finated.
96. Why did the cow get kicked out of the bar? She kept trying to start beef.
97. What do you call a cow who works in finance? A moo-tual fund manager.
98. What did the cow say after a long day of meetings? “I’m udderly exhausted.”
99. Why did the cow buy a Tesla? She wanted to cut back on gas.
100. Why do cows make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always cheesy.
101. Why did the cow start doing yoga? To improve her moo-bility.
102. What did the cow say to her therapist? “I feel like everyone’s milking me.”
103. What did the motivational cow say? “Don’t just stand there chewing the cud — make moo-ves!”
104. How do cows handle office rumors? They keep it on a need-to-moo basis.
105. How do cows handle conflict? They avoid drama and go straight for the graze-ful exit.
106. What’s a cow’s idea of self-care? A long soak in a moo-cuzzi.
107. Why was the cow so good at poker? She always knew when to hold her cud.
108. What do you call a cow who won a pageant? Dairy Queen.
109. And then the cow told its therapist: “I feel seen, but not herd.”
110. What do you call a cow who strikes it rich? A cash cow.
111. Why did the cow start her own business? She was tired of being milked for profits.
112. What do you call a grass-fed cow? A lawn moo-er.
113. What do you call a cow sting operation? A steak out.
Cow Jokes FAQs
What Is the Saying About Cows?
Sayings about cows include “have a cow” (to get angry), “holy cow!” (an exclamation of surprise) and “‘til the cows come home” (referring to a long period of time). Some people consider these to be cow jokes.
What Is a Good Quote About Cows?
Everyone has their own favorite jokes about cows, and the same is true for cow quotes. It’s tough to pick just one, but “Cows are gentle giants with hearts as big as their appetites” is both heartfelt and funny.
What Is a Male Cow Called in Slang?
“Bull” and “steer” are the most common terms used to describe a male cow. You’ll often see both of these words in funny cow jokes.
Even if you normally like knock knock jokes or Chuck Norris jokes, it’s hard not to laugh at jokes with cows. Milk these jokes about cows for all they’re worth because they make perfect dad jokes that guarantee laughs all around.
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