Why This or That Questions Work (Plus 400+ Worth Asking in 2025)

Red pill or blue pill? That single This or That question from The Matrix became one of the most recognizable moments in pop culture because it did more than ask a preference. It forced a decision. No hedging, no explanations, no middle ground. And that’s exactly why This or That questions work so well.

Far from being just simple fun, psychologists point out that forced-choice questions — the type that This or That questions are — push people to make a clear choice rather than sit on the fence. This format helps surface real preferences and stimulates attention to differences between options, making the answers more revealing than you might expect.

According to a psychologist cited in Forbes, overthinking doesn’t prepare us for decision-making in the real world, but making decisions does. Actively choosing between two simple options can help us engage our brains differently than passive scrolling or endless rumination.

That’s part of why asking well-crafted This or That questions matters: they move a conversation from generic list-checking to thoughtful interaction. They’re more engaging than yes or no questions, don't come with open-ended questions and they create space for connection, insight and even vulnerability.

Below, we’ll explore not just a big list of fun This or That questions, but why they work, how to use them and how to craft deeper questions to ask that actually improve your conversations — whether you’re at a party, breaking the ice with coworkers, or getting to know someone new.

Jump to Section

• Why This or That Questions Work (And When to Use Them)
• This or That Questions for Adults
• This or That Questions for Kids
• This or That Questions for Teens
• This or That Questions for Friends
• Funny This or That Questions
• Hard This or That Questions
• This or That Questions for Couples
• Flirty This or That Questions for Adults
• Spicy This or That Questions

Why This or That Questions Work (And When to Use Them)

At their core, This or That questions work because they lower the barrier to participation. Two clear options remove the pressure to be clever, articulate or “say the right thing.” People just have to choose, nothing more. That simplicity is exactly what makes them effective in social settings.

Forced-choice questions are a way to bypass overthinking and think instinctively. The brain makes a quick call, no explanations necessary. The secret lies in that decision, a decision which reveals how someone prioritizes comfort, risk, nostalgia, novelty or values.

That’s also why This or That questions show up so often in party games and icebreakers. They create a natural momentum. One answer leads to another. Someone reacts. A follow-up question appears naturally. Before long, the group is talking instead of waiting their turn.

Used well, they’re especially effective when:

• You’re warming up a group that doesn’t know each other yet

• You want something lighter than deep questions, but more revealing than small talk

• You need an easy entry point before jumping into games like Put a Finger Down or other interactive formats

• You’re looking for questions to ask to get to know your friends better, without making things awkward

So, is this or that an icebreaker? Absolutely — but it works best when the questions are chosen with intention. Generic options get quick answers and quick drop-off. Thoughtful contrasts are where the real value lies.

That’s why the sections below aren’t just random prompts. They’re grouped by context and intensity, so whether you’re looking for playful party energy, conversation starters for adults or harder questions that actually make people pause, you can use This or That questions in a way that fits the moment.

This or That Questions for Adults

Believe it or not, adults answer This or That questions all day long. Coffee or tea. Comfort or style. Early night or one more episode. Most of these choices happen on autopilot, but when you ask them out loud and with intention, they turn into something else entirely.

Used well, This or That questions for adults work because they reflect real-life trade-offs. They're not just intangible hypothetical questions. They’re less about novelty and more about identity, values and habits. That makes them especially effective as icebreakers at parties, low-pressure prompts in group settings or casual ways to learn more about friends without putting anyone on the spot.

This is where This or That questions stop feeling like a game and start feeling like conversation.

 

These questions work best when people answer quickly, without overthinking. The first instinct usually reveals more than the “right” answer.

1. Coffee or tea?

2. Texting or calling?

3. Group chat or one-on-one conversations?

4. Netflix or YouTube?

5. TikTok or Instagram?

6. Online shopping or in-store shopping?

7. Music or podcasts?

8. Sweet or salty snacks?

9. Cooking at home or eating out?

10. Stay in or go out?

11. Big party or small hangout?

12. Night in or night out?

13. Early bird or night owl?

14. City life or country life?

15. Road trip or fly on an airplane?

16. Adventure or relaxation?

17. Explore new places or visit old favorites?

18. Movies at home or in the theater?

19. Binge-watching TV or movie marathons?

20. Road trip with a loose plan or a fully mapped itinerary?

21. Board games or card games?

22. Indoor or outdoor activities?

23. Sneakers or sandals?

24. Sunglasses or hats?

25. Introvert or extrovert?

26. Beer or wine?

27. Big gathering or small gathering?

28. Rich or well-traveled?

29. Toilet paper over or under?

30. Clean as you cook or clean up at the end?

31. Sunrise hike or evening stroll?

32. Art gallery opening or indie music festival?

This or That Questions for Kids

Kids are already making fast little choices all day long, what to wear, what to play, what to eat. Saying the options out loud turns those quick decisions into conversation.

Keep it light, keep it simple and let the follow-up do the work. The fun part isn’t the “right” answer; it's asking would you rather questions and finding out the answer. It’s the mini stories that show up after. And the best bit? You'll learn things about your little angel that you may not have known before. 

 

For kids, this or that questions aren’t about the answer — they’re about practicing decision-making and self-expression in a low-pressure way.

33. Ice cream or cake?

34. Superheroes or cartoons?

35. Winter or summer?

36. Dogs or cats?

37. Pizza or hamburgers?

38. Books or movies?

39. Dinosaurs or robots?

40. Play outside or inside?

41. Sea animals or jungle animals?

42. Unicorns or dragons?

43. Swimming or running?

44. Morning or night?

45. Skateboarding or rollerblading?

46. Biking or walking?

47. Apple juice or orange juice?

48. Reading or drawing?

49. Science or math?

50. Science or art?

51. Pizza or tacos?

52. Planes or trains?

53. Football or basketball?

54. Snow or rain?

55. Barbies or Trolls?

56. Ice cream cone or ice cream sundae?

57. Roller coasters or merry-go-rounds?

58. Singing or dancing?

59. Ice skating or roller skating?

60. Board games or card games?

61. Lego or Play-Doh?

62. Watching TV or playing video games?

63. Batman or Spiderman?

64. Batman or Superman?

65. Disney or Pixar?

66. Cake or chocolate?

67. Watching a movie at home or in the theater?

68. Big dogs or small dogs?

69. Fast food or homemade food?

70. Snowball fight or water balloon fight?

71. Halloween or Christmas?

72. Adventure or mystery books?

73. Aquarium or zoo?

74. Theme park or museum?

75. Air guitar or air drums?

76. Board games or strategy video games?

77. Puppies or kittens?

78. Toys or candy?

79. Beach or the pool?

80. Football or soccer?

81. No homework or no bedtime?

82. Pandas or koalas?

83. Sandwiches with crusts or no crusts?

84. Volcano or mountain?

85. Sun or moon?

86. Fruits or vegetables?

87. Disney World or Legoland?

88. Pizza party or pool party?

89. Lions or tigers?

This or That Questions for Teens

Teenagers are constantly figuring out who they are, what they like and where they fit. This or That questions give them a low-pressure way to explore those preferences out loud, without turning the moment into a spotlight.

Used well, these natural ice breaker questions help teens connect over shared interests, differences and evolving identities.

90. Snapchat or WhatsApp?

91. Instagram stories or Instagram reels?

92. Thrifting or buying new?

93. Movies or TV shows?

94. Spotify or Apple Music?

95. Voice notes or FaceTime?

96. iPhone or Android?

97. Snap streaks or DM chats?

98. Summer vacation or winter vacation?

99. Playing video games or watching sports?

100. Sweet snacks or spicy snacks?

101. Hiking or biking?

102. Sports or music?

At this age, preferences shift fast. These questions often open the door to deeper conversations about identity, independence and belonging.

103. Group project or solo assignment?

104. Books or e-books?

105. Marvel or DC?

106. Shopping for clothes or shopping for shoes?

107. Concerts or festivals?

108. Reality TV or scripted TV?

109. Superhero movies or animated movies?

110. Phone calls or FaceTime?

111. Ice cream or frozen yogurt?

112. Hoodies or denim jackets?

113. Studying alone or studying with friends?

114. Quiet hangout or loud hangout?

115. Big city energy or small-town vibes?

116. Instagram stories or close friends list?

This or That Questions for Friends

With friends, This or That questions tend to move quickly past surface preferences and into shared experiences. One answer sparks a memory, another turns into an inside joke and before long, you’re planning something you didn’t expect when the question started.

These prompts work best in relaxed settings, when the goal isn’t speed or competition but conversation that unfolds on its own. They’re especially effective as warm-ups before group activities, dinner plans or casual get-togethers where not everyone knows each other equally well.

If you’re looking to make new friends, This or That questions can be some of the most effective ice breaker games to get the ball rolling. They pair naturally with shared experiences too — think cooking classes, art workshops or team-building activities — where answering a few questions together helps the group loosen up and get to know a little more about each other.

With friends, this or that questions tend to turn into shared stories. Pay attention to the follow-up moments — that’s where the real connection happens.

Whether you’re hosting a chill hangout or organizing a bigger group experience, these This or That questions create easy entry points for connection without forcing the moment.

117. Beach sunrise or city sunset?

118. Deep talk or dumb dad jokes?

119. Lake weekend or ocean weekend?

120. Street food or sit-down restaurant?

121. Game night in or restaurant catch-up?

122. Relive a great memory or experience something brand new?

123. Comedy or drama?

124. Dancing or singing?

125. Winter sports or summer sports?

126. Reading a book or watching a show?

127. Sweet or savory breakfast?

128. Café hopping or brunch at one spot?

129. Try something new together or stick with the usual?

130. Skiing or snowboarding?

131. Mystery or romance books?

132. Cook together or order takeout?

133. Deep frying or baking?

134. Texting memes or sending voice notes?

135. Road trip with friends or solo adventure?

136. Movie night or live event?

137. Picnic or rooftop hangout?

138. Breakfast for dinner or late-night snacks?

139. Invite friends over or head out?

140. X or Facebook?

141. Photography or painting?

142. Skyscrapers or open plains?

143. Chocolate or vanilla?

144. Pizza with or without pineapple?

145. Theme park or water park?

146. Game night or trivia night?

147. Watch sports or play sports?

148. Camping or staying in a hotel?

149. Big group or small group?

150. Tacos or sliders?

151. Cruise or plane ride?

152. Long drive or short walk?

153. Chocolate cake or cheesecake?

154. Let someone else DJ or build the playlist yourself?

155. One long hang or lots of short catch-ups?

156. Swimming or hiking?

157. Stay up all night or sleep all day?

158. Text or call for important news?

159. Learn a family secret or uncover a future one?

160. Spend on experiences or save for goals?

161. Bad haircut or bad dye job?

162. Instagram famous or infomercial famous?

163. Surprise party or surprise gift?

164. Couch potato or fitness fiend?

165. First impression or long-term compatibility?

166. Cocktails or mocktails?

167. Comfort-first or style-first?

168. Star-gazing or cloud watching?

169. Sunrise coffee run or late-night drive?

170. Bungee jumping or skydiving?

171. Dessert first or dessert last?

172. Museum day or live music night?

173. Rewrite history or predict what’s coming next?

Funny This or That Questions

Funny This or That questions lean into absurdity on purpose. The logic doesn’t matter, the outcome doesn’t matter and that’s exactly why they work.

They loosen the room, lower social pressure and invite people to answer without self-filtering, making them perfect for groups that need energy before depth.

174. Super strength or the ability to talk to animals?

175. Mullet or Mohawk?

176. Have fingers as long as your legs or legs as long as your fingers?

177. Never sleep again or never eat again?

178. Socks on your hands or gloves on your feet?

179. Pet dinosaur or pet dragon?

180. Be a ninja or a pirate?

181. Never get hiccups or a papercut ever again?

182. Always laugh at inappropriate times or never laugh again?

183. Wear clown shoes or a clown nose every day?

184. Walk backward or skip everywhere you go?

185. Have a rewind or pause button in life?

Silly questions lower defenses. When people laugh, they’re more likely to open up in the next round.

 

 

186. Speak every language or speak to animals?

187. Have a talking dog or a dog that can write?

188. Have a giant head or a giant body?

189. Always wear a cape or a tutu?

190. Fight a bear or 50 chickens?

191. Hamster-sized elephant or elephant-sized hamster?

192. Get stuck in a room full of spiders or snakes?

193. Have a third arm or third leg?

194. Always smell like chocolate or vanilla?

195. Be able to read minds or control time?

196. Have fingers made of spaghetti or hair made of cotton candy?

197. Only eat foods that are blue or green?

198. Talk like Yoda or talk like a pirate?

199. Always wear pajamas or a suit?

200. Get free food or free WiFi every time you go out?

201. Have no elbows or no knees?

202. Be 20 minutes early or 10 minutes late?

203. Pet kangaroo or pet penguin?

204. Have a big nose or a big mouth?

205. Wear a helmet or elbow pads every day?

206. Be able to breathe underwater or fly?

207. Live without music or without the internet?

208. Have no eyebrows or no eyelashes?

209. Only text in emojis or memes?

210. Pizza shaped like a cube or burgers shaped like spheres?

211. Only be able to hop or only crawl?

212. Eat everything with only your hands or only chopsticks?

213. Never be able to blink or never be able to smile?

214. Live in a world where it’s always 5 am or always 5 pm?

215. Talk only in questions or only in rhymes?

216. Talking pets or talking babies?

217. Time machine or magic wand?

218. Trapped with your partner in a jungle or a haunted house?

219. Partner who always gets speeding tickets or parking tickets?

220. Partner who’s messy but a great cook or incredibly neat but terrible at cooking?

221. Be the funniest person alive or the best-looking person alive?

222. Crunchy peanut butter or smooth peanut butter?

223. Sneezing or coughing?

224. Floating house or underwater hotel?

225. Potion brewing or spell casting?

226. Giant robot battle or dragon duel?

227. Mind-reading ability or shape-shifting powers?

228. Moon colony or Mars colony?

229. Sneeze confetti or hiccup bubbles?

230. Sticky hands or slimy feet?

This or That Questions for Couples

With couples, This or That questions aren’t about agreeing — they’re about understanding how each person prioritizes comfort, romance, routine and risk. Differences matter more than matches.

Whether you’ve been together for years or you’re still getting to know each other, these questions to get to know someone create low-pressure moments of insight. They surface habits, values and preferences that don’t always come up in everyday conversation, helping you understand how your partner thinks, not just what they like.

231. Breakfast in bed or dinner at a restaurant?

232. Netflix and chill or see a movie in theaters?

233. Walk on the beach or hike in the mountains?

234. Friday night in or out with friends?

235. Romantic getaway or adventure trip?

236. Sweet or savory snacks?

237. Cuddles on the couch or holding hands on a walk?

238. Long road trip or short weekend getaway?

239. Surprise or planned date night?

240. Pizza or pasta?

241. Morning person or night owl?

242. Watch a movie or binge-watch a TV series together?

243. Kisses in the rain or kisses by the fireplace?

244. Cooking together or ordering takeout?

245. Stay at home or go out on the weekends?

246. Sweet text messages or phone calls?

247. Dancing in the kitchen or singing in the car?

248. Playing board games or video games together?

249. Love letters or love songs?

250. House wine or craft cocktails?

251. Have breakfast together or dinner together?

252. Sharing everything or keeping a bit of mystery?

253. Watching sunsets together or stargazing at night?

254. The perfect date at home or the perfect date out?

255. Reading together or reading separately?

256. Dreaming about the future together or living in the moment?

257. Early-morning coffee together or late-night snack together?

258. Romance in the morning or romance at night?

259. Travel to a new place or revisit your favorite place together?

260. Kiss under the stars or kiss in the rain?

261. Laying on the beach together or hiking together?

262. Big gestures or small, thoughtful surprises?

263. Being super silly or super serious?

264. Coffee dates or movie dates?

265. Big family gatherings or small, intimate dinners?

266. Talking about your feelings or keeping things light?

267. Weekend getaway or staycation at home?

268. Being a little jealous or totally secure?

269. Spontaneous date or well-planned date?

270. Cold weather or hot weather?

271. Adventure sports or relaxed activities?

272. Public displays of affection or private displays of affection?

273. Ski resort or couples’ spa day?

274. Long distance relationship or move across the country?

275. Arcade date or mini golf date?

276. Thoughtful gifts or quality time?

277. All-inclusive beach resort or camping?

278. Matching tattoos or matching piercings?

279. Split the bill or take turns paying?

280. Expensive gift or homemade gift?

281. Fast food or healthy food?

282. Food truck or restaurant?

283. Shared calendar or spontaneous plans?

284. Split chores by task or trade off weekly?

285. Flowers or candy?

286. Being stuck together overnight in IKEA or a theme park?

287. Only kiss with your eyes open or only talk in baby voices for a week?

Hard This or That Questions

Some This or That questions are easy. Others make you pause. And they work because they force prioritization. There’s no neutral option and no perfect answer. You’re choosing between two things you care about, or two things you’d rather not compare at all. That tension is the point.

These questions tend to spark longer conversations, follow-up questions and moments of self-reflection. They’re not about speed or humor. They’re about revealing how someone thinks when there isn’t an obvious “right” choice.

 

Hard this or that questions slow people down on purpose. When there’s no obvious “good” choice, the answer reveals values, not preferences.

288. Be respected or be liked?

289. Stability or freedom?

290. Passion or security?

291. Live a long life or a meaningful one?

292. Tell a hard truth or protect someone’s feelings?

293. Be successful in your career or fulfilled in your personal life?

294. Forgive but never forget or forget but never forgive?

295. Take a risk that could change everything or stay comfortable?

296. Be honest even if it causes conflict or keep the peace?

297. Work for yourself or work for someone you admire?

298. Know how you’ll die or when you’ll die?

299. Be alone and content or surrounded by people and lonely?

300. Follow logic or follow intuition?

 

These questions often work best one-on-one or in small groups, where there’s space for follow-up instead of speed.

301. Be admired for your mind or your character?

302. Choose happiness now or fulfillment later?

303. Speak your mind or choose your battles?

304. Be comfortable or be challenged?

305. Live without regrets or without expectations?

306. Be misunderstood or unnoticed?

307. Have certainty or have possibility?

308. Change who you are or accept what you can’t change?

309. Lead or support?

310. Be right or be kind?

311. Have fewer close friends or many surface-level ones?

312. Control your future or trust it?

313. Be needed or be wanted?

314. Take responsibility or let go?

315. Live in the moment or plan for the future?

316. Speak less and listen more or say exactly what you think?

317. Be brave or be careful?

Flirty This or That Questions for Adults

Catch someone's attention by asking the flirtiest This or That questions or possibly a few never have I ever questions. Each answer signals interest, boundaries and intent without requiring direct statements.

 

They work because they’re playful first and revealing second, allowing attraction to build through implication rather than pressure.

318. Kiss on the cheek or kiss on the lips?

319. Dinner at a fancy restaurant or cozy dinner at home?

320. Romantic date night or spontaneous adventure?

321. Massage your partner or get a massage from your partner?

Flirty questions work when they stay playful. If a choice creates tension instead of curiosity, skip it.

322. Watch a romantic movie or steamy one?

323. Love notes or whisper sweet secrets in your ear?

324. Hug from behind or the front?

325. Dancing close or dancing far apart?

326. Slow, passionate kiss or playful, quick peck?

327. Hold hands in public or only in private?

328. Early morning cuddle or late-night cuddle?

329. Surprising your partner with a gift or a kiss?

330. Flirty text message or flirty phone call?

331. Send them a flirty emoji or flirty meme?

332. Compliment their appearance or personality?

333. Surprise them with a kiss on the neck or lips?

334. Light candles or set the mood with music?

335. Talk dirty or be romantic?

336. Sexy texting or face-to-face flirting?

337. Let them lead or take the lead?

338. Give them a love letter or a kiss that says it all?

339. Take a nap together or stay up all night talking?

340. Hold hands under the table or have your arm around them?

341. Tease each other or make each other laugh?

342. Playfully flirting or serious seduction?

343. Get caught staring at them or have them catch you touching them?

344. Playing footsie under the table or secretly holding their hand?

345. Steal a kiss or let them kiss you first?

346. Whisper their name seductively or shout it out in excitement?

347. Take a walk in the park or a stroll on the beach?

348. Leave little surprises for each other or have grand gestures?

349. Send a flirty text or give them a sweet surprise in person?

350. Tease them with your eyes or tease them with your touch?

351. Be playful in your flirting or bold and direct?

352. Look into their eyes deeply or kiss their neck softly?

353. Show affection through surprise, giving something new or giving gifts you know they want?

354. Romantic dinner or spontaneous picnic?

355. Tease them with your touch or your words?

356. Laugh together or get lost in each other’s eyes?

357. Lazy brunch date or late-night dessert run?

358. Playful games or deep, meaningful conversations?

359. Stay up all night talking or fall asleep together early?

360. Partner who is book smart or street smart?

361. Gaze at the stars or at each other?

362. Partner who is a night owl or an early riser?

363. Sit by the campfire or hold hands at the movies?

364. Romance or fun?

365. Hit on someone or have someone hit on you?

366. Coffee date or cocktail date?

367. Looks or personality?

368. Hair pulls or neck kisses?

369. Flirty truth or flirty dare?

370. Slow intimacy or sudden tension?

371. Competition as flirting or rom-com sweetness?

372. Being chased or doing the chasing?

373. Flirting in a crowded room or sneaking off to be alone?

374. Major PDA or subdued public affection?

Spicy This or That Questions

Spicy This or That questions raise the stakes by introducing vulnerability, trust and intimacy into the choice itself. There’s no neutral answer and that’s the point.

 

These questions work best in relationships where openness already exists and curiosity feels safe.

375. Hair in the drain or crumbs in the bed?

376. Socks in bed or feet raw and free?

377. Be handcuffed together for 48 hours or swap phones for 48 hours?

378. Matching couples’ tattoos or couples’ TikTok accounts?

379. Finishing each other’s sentences in public: cute or cringy?

380. Sharing a toothbrush or wearing matching “I’m with them” shirts in public?

381. Slow build or fast spark?

382. Their scent or their voice?

 

Consent and context matter. These questions are best saved for relationships where comfort and trust already exist.

383. Be your partner’s biggest fan or biggest challenge?

384. Sexy smile or sexy voice?

385. Shower together or bathe together?

386. Be the little spoon or the big spoon?

387. Shower them with gifts or affection?

388. Sexy lingerie or comfy pajamas?

389. Praise or teasing?

390. Music loud or barely there?

391. Be in control or let them take charge?

392. Sizzling hot outfit or no outfit at all?

393. Sexy text messages or seductive phone calls?

394. Go for a passionate kiss or a sensual touch?

395. Kiss in public or kiss in private?

396. Kiss with passion or tenderness?

397. A secret rendezvous or planned excursion?

398. Blindfolded massage or blindfolded taste testing?

399. Role-playing scenario or Truth or Dare?

400. Sensual dance or strip tease?

401. Hot shower or bubble bath together?

402. Foreplay or afterplay?

403. Gentle caresses or passionate bites?

404. Whispered compliments or dirty talk?

405. Eye contact or closed eyes during intimacy?

406. Playful nibbles or tender kisses?

407. Morning intimacy or nighttime intimacy?

408. Blindfolds or handcuffs?

409. Full body massage or foot rub?

410. Slow dance or playful dance off?

411. Good kiss or good massage?

412. Passionate kiss or gentle kiss?

413. Turned on by people who act or people who play sports?

414. Give a naughty twist to board games or video games?

415. A partner who is more of a giver or a receiver in bed?

416. Spontaneous or predictable in bed?

417. Dirty talk or role-playing?

418. Get physical in your office or the gym?

419. A partner who is a good kisser or a good lover?

420. New things in the bedroom or sticking to your routine?

421. Quickie in the graveyard or the parking lot after midnight?

422. Skinny dip in the ocean or a lake?

423. Partner that’s a zombie or a vampire?

424. Lights on or lights off?

425. Makeout with your celebrity crush or win $10,000?

426. Romantic dinner out or romantic breakfast in bed?

427. Smart and pretty or rich and ugly?

428. Tell your partner your deepest, darkest secret or never know theirs?

This or That questions work because they do something deceptively simple: they ask people to choose. In a world of overthinking, endless scrolling and low-stakes opinions, forced choices cut through the noise and reveal how people actually think, feel and prioritize.

 

The best This or That questions don’t end with an answer. They open the door to shared stories, unexpected insight and conversations people actually remember.

For even more fun ideas to get a conversation going, check out other experiences happening on Classpop!